Monday, March 27, 2006

Dear SUV driver,

Imagine my surprise, coming out of the resto the other night, to see that you had decided to park your tin-bucket right up on our rear bumper. Gosh, you're rather touchy-feely, aren't you? Normally, that part is exit-only, but I could make an exception for you.
Do you know what I found super-cool about this little manoeuver on your part? Why, not only did you make it nearly impossible for us to get out of the spot but, in your grandiose self-importance, you had the cojones to also block the wheelchair access onto the sidewalk. Hey, when it comes to making life slightly easier for gimps and crips, fuck that, right? You're much too important. So important that you can't be bothered to find another parking spot anywhere further up the road. Heck, that extra 30 seconds you may have been forced to walk is 30 seconds too much. Let the handicap struggle down the road; no skin off your ass. It's strange, I was sure we had parked on the corner, but I guess we were wrong.
I applaud you, fine gentleman/madam, in your choice of vehicles. An SUV just shouts to the world, "Hey, I'm a jackass and I don't care what anyone says." Bravo. Oh, and choosing a crap-ass KIA SUV? Yeah, no comment. I have a question, though: Have you found any polyps yet, what with your head so far up your ass?
No, no, don't worry. My key still works perfectly. Why do you ask?
Update: Hmm, seems I'm not the only one.


At 9:53 AM, Blogger five blue said...

lol. those kia suvs don't have the motor to carry their body! but what i really love about SUV drivers is when they swerve like crazy, endangering the lives of many people in their normal-sized cars who happen to think they can share the road with such a monster, in order to avoid a... pot hole! because, hmm, you know, suvs can't handle pot holes. right.

the annoying thing about it is that if we could afford an suv, we'd actually take it off road *all the time*! in the mud, through streams and shallow rivers, you name it! that thing would be muddy 24/7! why those people who don't have anywhere off road to go buy them is completely beyond me (oh, and if we could afford such a thing, we'd also afford a smart car for traveling in the city - we aint stupid!)

At 5:45 PM, Blogger Maggie said...

there is something very subversive *and* satisfying about keying a car.

At 7:02 PM, Blogger Michel said...

i have *no* idea what you mean.

At 5:15 PM, Blogger Martine said...

Your new idol:


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