Tuesday, March 01, 2005

We are on a quest for the Holy Grail
So, I've been reading the illustrated version of The Da Vinci Code--I was hoping for the pop-up version but, alas, the book didn't have any, nor did it inspire me to have one--and I must say, it's not a book that I could put down gently. No, in fact, I would much prefer to throw it forcibly across the room. This is the literary event of the past couple years? Honest, what a giant stinky pile of dog poo.
Let's take a simple internet conspiracy and expand it for a few hundred pages. Need to explain something? Easy, have a couple have a conversation, where the expert answers in exposition to any simple four-word question from the attractive detective. If I wanted crap like this, I'd read Kathy Reichs or, even worse, watch Law and Order: SVU, where I can listen to such deep conversations as:
Vern, um, I mean George Huang: He's obviously suffering from Asperger's syndrome.
Olivia: Asperger's Syndrome, what's that?
George: An inability to function in a social environment. The child often displays repetitive facial tics. They are often preoccupied with one or a few interests. Like a teenaged boy and breasts.
Olivia: Breasts, what are those?
George: Um...


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