Thursday, February 05, 2004

Mike Ditka's Dick
Okay, I’m really upset by this, and I’m sure I’m not alone. I was watching the Super Bowl on the weekend, and there it was, on TV, in front of an audience of about 90 million: Mike Ditka shilling for Levitra! C’mon! At the end of the commercial, my nephew asks, “Unky, why did Mike throw a football through a tire? And why do you always make me sit on your lap?”
So, of course, Levitra, and CBS, put me in that godless position of having to explain to my nephew that Mike Ditka is no longer capable of achieving an erection on his own, but that, with the help of a drug, he could now have sex. “You see, the football represents a penis. The tire represents a vagina.” I sent him off to ask his mommy for further explanations, putting her in an uncomfortable position, for which I again blame Mike Ditka.
Honestly, how pathetic can Mike Ditka get? I don’t think that those of us uncomfortable with the idea of human sexuality should have been put in this situation.


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